This Week We're Going Off Leash!

Hi Reader,

“My dogs are my kids.”

Why does that sentence garner so many looks of pity and serious eye rolls as soon as soon as you turn your back?

It’s 2024, and yet women who don’t have a human kid by their side are still questioned, labeled and found wanting, especially by other women.

Let’s just imagine for a second that there may be an incredibly legitimate reason that a woman doesn’t have a child by her side.

Perhaps she was born sterile.

Maybe she was raped and chose to have an abortion.

Maybe she desperately wanted a child but suffered from infertility.

Or perhaps, the worst crime of all…she never wanted kids at all! (audible gasping)

In any case, the decision to have or not have kids, as well as to treat your dogs as kids is an entirely personal one and not society’s business (contrary to popular belief).

As a proud dog mom, I’ve faced my fair share of judgment and criticism on this front.

Many people simply don’t understand, or refuse to believe, that being a pet parent is just as rewarding and fulfilling as being a human parent.

In a society that places more value on traditional forms of parenting, it can be challenging to navigate the role of a dog mom.

From people telling you that dogs aren’t even pets, let alone kids (yes, I’ve had someone say this to me)...

To having to explain why I still choke up every time someone mentions a dog that I lost years ago...

The scrutiny can be exhausting.

And good luck trying to explain to someone with kids that being a dog mom isn’t actually that different than being a human mom.

We're still ultimately responsible for this living creature we've brought into our lives.

We still have to provide, love, care, and support to something that depends on us for everything.

We still have to make sacrifices, putting the dog’s needs above our own, as well as cherishing every moment that we have together.

My dogs always get fed first before my husband and I eat.

They get healthier meals than we make for ourselves.

And they get the best care we can afford if something isn’t quite right.

Heck, they even get regular trips to the salon and chiropractor visits.

I can’t remember the last time I had either of those!

Despite the challenges, I wouldn’t trade my role as a dog mom for anything!

Just like human children, my dogs bring me joy, laughter, and unconditional love to Andrew and I.

They provide us with companionship and keep us active even when we don’t feel like it.

And our bond with our dogs is just as strong and meaningful as the bond many parents have with their human children.

But being a dog mom inside your house is much different than having to stand up for yourself as one outside of the house.

So here’s 5 ways I’ve found that have helped me to go “off leash” and overcome my own mindset limitations surrounding the feeling of “not fitting in”:

1. Find Your Tribe

Create a network of other people who are also childless/childfree with dogs.

This can provide a sense of community and understanding from people who know exactly what it’s like being in your situation.

The old adage of “you’re the product of the 5 people you surround yourself with” is popular for a reason…it’s true.

You can do this in a lot of different ways - social media, online forums, visiting the community dog park. If you don’t have any of these resources, consider building your own in-person or virtual group and advertise it by any means necessary. Your people will come.

2. Set Boundaries

No one deserves to be bullied for how they choose to live their life or what they believe in.

Setting boundaries with others who may not understand or respect your situation (even if that’s family) is crucial to finding personal contentment with your dog parent lifestyle.

It can feel harsh and lonely for a bit, but if you then set about working to find your tribe as we talked about earlier, trust me, it’ll be so worth it!

3. Find Ways to Connect Deeper with Your Dog(s)

Find ways to connect with your fur baby on a deeper level.

Whether that’s through training, playtime, dog-centered vacations, or simply taking some more solo walks to just be present with them, this extra quality time can really help develop and strengthen the bond with your dog and bring an immense sense of joy and fulfillment to your life.

4. Make Time for Self-Care

Not sure about the men reading this, but I can definitely say we as women struggle with this one.

Prioritize your own well-being! Here’s a hint…it’s NOT selfish!

Taking care of yourself is essential to properly care for everyone around you, including your dog(s).

Maybe this self-care involves your dog, maybe it doesn’t.

Either way, setting aside even 15 minutes of “Me Time” every single day can go a long way to put you in the mindset that your life is exactly the way it should be and no one is going to make you feel any sort of way about it.

5. Embrace the Perks!

Want to sit in silence and read a book before going to bed?

Great!

Need to put your dog in their crate for a bit to run an errand?

Done!

Every choice has its pros and cons.

But by focusing on all the positive ways dogs enhance your lifestyle and allow you more freedom than having children the better.

Conclusion

I always refer back to the saying, “don’t let anyone make you feel inferior without your consent.”

And while I’ve never been able to trace the quote back to its exact origins, as a childless dog mom, its always hit a little extra for me.

If someone is making you feel uncomfortable because you’re not part of the “mom (or dad) club”, that’s on them.

You don’t have to set yourself on fire just to save someone else.

There’s a whole community of us out there who would welcome you with open arms (and paws)!

So embrace the fur covered clothes, get yourself a “my dog is smarter than your honor student” bumper sticker, and live life on your own terms.

🐶 And don’t forget - dogs are the BEST! 🐶

-Charlie

P.S. What's a time you were made to feel inferior because of your pet parent status? Hit reply and let me know! I read and reply to every response.

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